Tuesday, October 12, 2010

hard to be soft, tough to be tender

I've fallen behind on the October Photoblog Challenge. My apologies. I got caught up in a gangload of emotions Thursday night that tumbled into Friday night... I'm not going to lie. I'm going to be 100% honest here. I come off happy in my relationship but these past couple months have gotten ROUGH. I've got all these thoughts.. memories.. thoughts.. swirling around in my head. I wish I had a pensieve (dorky Harry Potter talk) It's like I can't fulfill my emotional needs but that is in part to being a long-distance relationship. He and I talk on the phone every single night and every now and then we webcam. It's not quite the same.
I think many people take for granted the simplest things they do with their significant others. I yearn to be able to even just go grocery shopping with my boyfriend, cooking a meal together, watch a movie, RENT a movie, maybe even play video games together? It's not as if I can call him up and say "Hey, want to go watch such and such movie? Okay, i'll be over in 20 minutes." I have to plan things weeks, months in advance. We plan out our time together a couple weeks in advance. There are so many things we say we want to do together or we will do together... but that list keeps growing.
I gave myself a personal deadline and hopefully, I will meet it. *sigh*
We nearly broke up this past weekend. On Friday, I sat at work all day with my flight itinerary in the background on my computer debating if I should check in for my flight or cancel it. Right as I was about to click "cancel" I decided to give "us" more of a chance. He wanted to talk in person. Even when I got to SFO, I was apprehensive about boarding my flight.  Alright, enough about my personal life.. Here comes the preaching.
You see, the thing about relationships is that you've got to TALK. I'm not talking about just exchanging words, I mean FROM THE HEART.  If you're that close to your significant other, COMMUNICATE. Just because you see each other often doesn't mean you can't have heart to hearts. Many issues can be resolved by first bringing them to surface, addressing it, and DISCUSSING. Pour your heart. Pour your soul. This is real motherfucking TALK (phrase courtesy of xppink) right here, alright?
OH. I have a nasty ass throat infection. The entire left side of my throat has been inflamed since saturday morning, and I have a nasty cough. I'm taking meds and codeine is helping the cough. BLAH. If I ever find the cunt that infected me, I will shank you with a dull spork! YOUR UPPANCE SHALL COME!!!
but back to the Photoblog Challenge.. sorry.

Day 8: I hellafuckingstronglyDISLIKE bitter melon.  
It tastes exactly the way the name implies: BITTER. but what they didn't tell you in the name is that it is utterly DISGUSTING. I am not keen on this, can you tell? It should be named BitterNastyFuckMelon.

Day 9 [Saturday]: A Place You Went Today
chased peacocks at the Santa Anita Arboretum

Day 10: Tv Show You're Currently Addicted To
nothing. I don't anything religiously on tv.

Day 11: Your Family Pets
Big Bob.
don't worry, the water isn't yellow! it's an effed up tint from the lighting in my room.

Day 12: What's In Your Fridge
top shelf: Activia yogurt (I love that stuff!) condiments like mayonnaise (ugghh GROSS), cream cheese, butter.. some ham.. Korean aloe vera juice, couple of cans of Coca Cola..
The other shelves are various things like boxed rice, meat that is marinating, loaves of sandwich bread, fruits and veggies.. The door shelves are all condiments, Asian and American alike.. and a big ole jug of 2% milk. 

  • Day 1: Self portrait – share basics/make an intro.
  • Day 2: Someone you adore – 5 reasons why
  • Day 3: Something you bought today
  • Day 4: A representation of your day – what do you do?
  • Day 5: What’s in your bag? Or something you can’t leave the house without
  • Day 6: Your humble abode
  • Day 7: Something you ate today
  • Day 8: Something you dislike
  • Day 9: A place you went today
  • Day 10: TV show you’re currently addicted to
  • Day 11: Your family pet(s) – if you don’t have one, take a picture of anything
  • Day 12: What’s in your fridge
  • Day 13: The town/city you reside
  • Day 14: Something you craved today
  • Day 15: A stranger and why you chose them
  • Day 16: Your closet
  • Day 17: A representation of the you no one really knows
  • Day 18: Something you collect
  • Day 19: Favorite part of yourself and why
  • Day 20: A hobby you have
  • Day 21: Your parents
  • Day 22: Your room as it is right now
  • Day 23: Go some where you’ve never been & take a picture
  • Day 24: Something you find funny
  • Day 25: Self portrait myspace-esque
  • Day 26: Where you go to relax/get away
  • Day 27: Something that gives you purpose
  • Day 28: A before & after shot of anything
  • Day 29: An action shot
  • Day 30: Another self portrait
  • Day 31: Something that always makes you smile
I think I'm all caught up now.. Next post will be a mini beauty binge on my recent purchase from www.apopofkawaii.com Their shipping is insanely fast. I placed my order on a monday and got all my swag on friday! YUP! All the way from Tokyo, Japan...

OH! For some suuuuuuper easy recipes, check out my friend Kim's blog. She is just starting so she only has a few entries but the food looks quite tasty. I actually intend on making the pizza she posted , as well as the bowtie pancetta pasta dish. MmMM MmmM Mmm clicky click click HERE: http://mylilredkitchen.blogspot.com/

my makeup was uggh nasty shit horrible but <33333
...still going...


  1. aww, you two are cute together! You silly... chasing after peacocks. But if I was you, I would probably do the same thing. lol! Bitter melons taste good.. only in the soap that has meat and you eat it with rice! (so Asian of me... damn) Aww, Big Bob looks like my first beta fish! Except mine had a little more blue and tint of green.

  2. :( sucks about LDR's.. i hate being in them. i suck at communicating too. maybe that's why :P hahaha.

  3. I'm sorry to hear about the shit you've been through.. I know you'll make it through fine tho!

    On a different note, I've never had bitter melon and I'll be running in the opposite direction if I ever come across one! thanks for the heads up.. lol.

    and I've been seeing a lot of other "what's in your fridge" posts and... man is everyone in for a surprise. I haven't even taken pictures yet (jeez I'm so behind my challenge posts) but I have 5 fridges to photograph..... yeah....

    anyways I hate mayo too and I hope you're doing well... even tho things are looking shitty right now everything will work out the way it should be in the end :)


  4. Oh I really like these blogchallenges!

    You look so cute!

    New follower ^^


  5. I give you props for being in a LDR. They're pretty damn exhausting (mentally, physically, emotionally, financially) but communication is truly key to getting through it. I'm glad you were able to talk, more importantly listen, to each other and work things out. <3

    And I totally feel you on the bitter melon. My parents make it every now and then and I always steer clear haha. Definitely an acquired taste! I peeped your Kim's blog and I'm following. I love home cooking and I can't wait to try her spinach sausage soup nom nom nom.

  6. YUMMMM! aloe vera drink is delicious!

  7. Ahahaha I love how you were able to cross off like 5 days in one post!

    You know I understand how you feel.

    And I 100% agree about communication, whether or not someone is in a LDR or not. ESPECIALLY girls. For some reason they think they can telepathically communicate all their annoyances and hurts and frustrations, just by willing it to happen. Nope. Sorry ladies. Guys are not receptive to our lil telepathic msgs. Gotta speak up.

    Hmm wonder what you'll do for Day 15 :)

  8. Babe, I know how you feel and how hard it is to be in a LDR. But I always tried to make the best of it, and like you, I'd talk to him every day and web cam once in awhile. And every time I got to see him in person, I would cherish and savor every second. I was grateful that he was in my life and I spent so much energy, money, and time on him that when he ended everything, I was exhausted!

    You're right that we always have to be real and never apologetic about how we think or feel. Sometimes we tend to be more open and honest in communicating our thoughts than the guys. I hope that you and D keep working on better communication. Love is hard work!

    I love you babe! I'm here if you need me! xoxo

  9. I hope everything works out for you. I know long distance can be hard-i'm in one too. But if you can make it work, then it'll be the best thing ever.

    Kudos to you for being real. <3

  10. Man I haven't been to the Arboretum since the 2nd grade! haha

    Yeah man... talking/real talking is very important in relationships. Esp. how people think so differently. Props to you and David!

  11. kame'i and i were in a long distance relationship for about 3 years, it was rough so i feel you girlfriend. is it possible for you two to move in together? I finally gave him an ultimatum because I was sick of it all and he moved down before the weekend. Left his car, job, family & even though I complain about him on twitter at times, LOVE HIM TO DEATH. So don't worry, once you two are together all this hardship will bring you two closer and you both have a better understanding & appreciation of what it means to be together.