Dear Mom,

I forgot about how we used to get along.
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Monday, June 16, 2003

because every confused teenager undergoing the great journey to adult-hood, should have a hero... Too alarming now to talk about Take your pictures down and shake it out Truth or consequence, say it aloud Use that evidence, race it around There goes my hero Watch him as he goes There goes my hero He's ordinary Don't the best of them bleed it out While the rest of them peter out Truth or consequence, say it aloud Use that evidence, race it around There goes my hero Watch him as he goes There goes my hero He's ordinary Kudos my hero, leaving all the best You know my hero, the one that's on There goes my hero Watch him as he goes There goes my hero He's ordinary My Hero - Foo Fighters The sunlight is exceptionally bright in my room today. My windows are naked, exposed, allowing the unknown abyss that is my neighboors, to peer into my world. Why? My mother carefully took down my curtains, and washed them yesterday. Basking in the afterglow of my "Foo Fighters are gods, I heard Everlong live, I have finally reached nirvana, I can die happy" from BFD, I laid there, sprawled on my almost-too-small-for-me twin sized bed with my not-tanned-enough legs dangling over the edge. I hugged my beloved black, star shaped Hollywood pillow, and turned over. "Mom..you have a fat ass!" I laughed. She took down the sheer white fabric, gently placed it on the shrimp carpetting, and slowly made a 180. "Yea? You are the fatass!" she retorted in her broken English. She smiled. And as we jokingly called each other names, I couldn't help but notice the sunlight that poured through my window due to the absence of my curtains, outlining my mother's body with an angelic glow. The contrast of lighting made her appear to be a goddess. Then, almost all too quickly, she right back around. And just like that, the moment had passed. I laid on my back, staring at the ceiling. "Mommy's got a fatass, mommy's got a fatass" I said in a sing song voice. Nothing. I flipped over again, and her "fatass" was in my face. At times, I am known to be spontaneous. My best friend thinks I have a minor case or form of turrets. Suddenly, my mother's rear end appeared gargantuan, larger than life; and without thinking, I clutched my pillow and whacked her with all my might on rear end. "haha fatass!" I shouted as I exploded into fits of uncontrolled laughter. She jumped. "You scared me! I didn't know you were watching me take down the curtains!" She grinned. Maybe some people don't think so, but right then and there, the moment you grinned at me, I saw myself in your eyes. I marvelled at you in a wonderous awe, as if I was seeing you for the very first time, innocently, almost infant-like. Why, I know not, but I think at that moment, I became ghastly pale. My own voice in my head said "I look just like you mom" but I could almost swear it was aloud in a faint whisper. "What's wrong fatass? huh? Hey! What's the matter with you? Why are you looking at me like that?" Once again, the moment had passed. I whacked her rear end again. "Mommy has a fatass! Mommy has a fatass!" The laughter that filled my room for the next 10 minutes was surreal, almost like a once in a lifetime experience. Never to be forgotten, never to reoccur. "I don't have a fatass, you have the fat ass! And you have a big chest! haha!" We kept going at it. "Not uh mom, I got it all from you, fatass!!" Yea, there goes my hero. There goes my hero. Watch her as she goes. There goes my hero, she's ordinary.